The Second of A’s to Self-Coaching

In my last post I looked at The First of A’s to Self-Coaching – Awareness.

Once you are aware of what you are doing, the emotions you have and the impact of all of that in your world you have the ability to see new choices.

But, we don’t just want to make a new choice right away. Delay the choice making for a few seconds. A knee jerk recaction to your awareness may just cause another problem – reaction is just another action to something that you have just done. Instead, once you become aware I invite you to accept what is happening and where you are, and your responsibility for it. Acceptance is the second A and a step that bring you closer to planned action, or pro-active choices. (more…)

The First of 3 A’s to Self-Coaching

Our life is controlled by our unconscious programming – and sometimes we only do the best we can based on the worst of our programming. When you notice yourself stuck in a loop, at effect of something in life, playing the blame game or just not heading in the direction you want this is a perfect time to stop and use the 3 A’s to self-coaching.

The three A’s are as follows: awareness, acceptance and action. (more…)

Just Breathe

I do yoga quite often, and the instructors are continually reminding us to breathe. Especially when we move into a challenging posture – just breathe.

This is the same in life – sometimes when we move into something challenging we need to remember to breathe. And not just the normal breath we take (but if you are holding your breath, a normal one will do just fine!) I’m talking about a purposeful breath. A breath that lets you take a moment to check in and check out where to go next.

I’ve heard of this as a yogic breath, a 4 square breath, tactical breathing… here’s how it works… and if you can’t remember it – just take a deep, purposeful breath. (more…)

Do you have advice for me?

Not long ago I was out with a few friends and one of the group was starting to get a cold or flu. It was quite fun to watch what happened.

She was inundated by unsolicited advice: take garlic, eat lemons, cut out dairy, up the vitamins, drink tea, dance naked, use oils, eat soup.

People in general like to be helpful. Perhaps we gain some sort of significance by it.

One thing that I appreciate about most NLPers (and I say most because some are still getting the swing of it…) NLPers don’t give advice. We may share a metaphor or ask a few questions, but for many NLPers, advice is a no-no.  ESPECIALLY unsolicited advice! (more…)

NLP Doesn’t Work

Wait? What? Did you read that right!!!?

How can someone who has been involved in NLP for so long even start an article with this title? NLP doesn’t work? Of course it does! Or does it?

In my private practice, in the training room and in my real life I meet people all the time who are looking for a quick fix to an issue or a major jump toward a goal. And there are SO many NLP Practitioners and NLP Trainers in the world who purport that NLP is a quick fix. And I see advertisement and marketing expelling this same idea. I get an image of ‘Superman’’(or woman) in my mind with these super powers and with a booming voice “You’re depressed? I can fix you!”

So, I’m here to tell you NLP doesn’t work. (more…)

Do Willpower and Determination Actually Help?

I’ve read it, I know you have too.

You need willpower, determination, self-control and a whole lot more to get to where you want.

And that’s right… right?

Well, yes. And, no.

For short term goals and things out of our comfort zone or things we don’t really want then yes they are useful and even necessary. However….

If you are after a longer term goal they are not. Think about it. How many times have you achieved or reached a goal when willpower, determination and self control were at the forefront of your mind? My guess, not often. But why? They seem to be the main words that come from self-help and motivational books and speakers.  (more…)