Times, they are a-changing

The only certainty is change.

Have you ever expected nothing at all to change? Or perhaps you have hoped that nothing would change? Well folks, I hate to burst that bubble, but everything changes.

The seasons, or friends, our faces, our health, our speed, our hair (thank goodness!), and it is true – the only certainty in life is change.

Some people, who know that change is inevitable, expect change where they can’t create it – “He/she will change”, “If I change jobs everything else will change”, “my kids will grow out of it”. Sure, these changes might happen, but perhaps you shouldn’t bank on it.

Since change is inevitable, the best kind of changes are the ones we purposefully create. That is, maybe it is best to be the designer of life.

Sure, there is a lot of change out there that we are not in control of. Taxes, interest rates, other drivers on the road, etc. But, we are in control of how we handle these things.

I know people who are very aggravated drivers – they yell at others, get angry at others… and why? Because they are aggravated. Yet, the other driver doesn’t have a clue about it. In fact, the only thing this aggravated person is doing is raising their own blood pressure and putting an extra, unnecessary, strain on themselves. What would be a better way to react? This is infact, the best kind of change a person can aim for – a change that helps to create a different reaction.

One of my favourite (and one of the simplest) NLP tools to help us create a new behaviour is the New Behaviour Generator process. This is ultimately a modelling tool to assist you to step into the shoes of someone else and adopt some of the behaviours that they are doing well that would benefit you. Here’s the gist of it:

1. Stand in a specific spot and imagine yourself in a situation where you could use a new behaviour. Really notice and feel what you are doing, the emotions you are having and any body sensations.
2. Now, step backwards so you can see yourself on a movie screen (really step backwards!) and observe what you are doing, how you are behaving and how other people are reacting.
3. From this position, imagine someone else that you know (or know of) taking your place in this movie, but having more appropriate behaviours. Just watch how they do this.
4. This time, step sideways (left or right, it’s up to you) and step right into this other person. Become this person for a moment. And, as you do this, really notice and feel what you are doing, what emotions you are having and any body sensations.
5. Choose a few appropriate changes that would suit you specifically (all of it might not fit). You can anchor these changes, or make it simple and just remember the feelings and behaviours.
6. Step back into the first position of YOU and take on these new behaviours, emotions, feelings and body sensations. Feel yourself now capable of doing these new behaviours in this situation.
7. Future pace it – imagine a time in the future, where you may have done that old behaviour – what happens instead.

Change is a constant – and we can use this to our advantage. I’m curious – what do you want to change today?

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