As Ghandi said – be the change you want to see in the world. For change to happen however, we must change. I have met so many people through my profession as a coach and trainer who want something different in their lives, but they aren’t willing at a deeper level to make the changes necessary for it to happen.
Change is a two-fold process in the world of NLP:
- internal changes
- external changes
Internal changes are the changes we make to our beliefs, emotions, thoughts and unconscious patterns. With NLP we have a myriad of techniques to help us with this. However, not matter how many internal changes we make, if we don’t have external changes to accompany the internal then nothing much may change in the outside world.
External changes are the behavioural changes that may still need your conscious attention. While many times when we use NLP to create internal changes the external changes itself – as a simple example: if I change my submodalities (the qualities of my thoughts) about pizza into anchovies (I love pizza! And would never purposefully eat an anchovy!) that shift of submodalities may be so great that the thought of eating pizza may never enter my awareness. However – I only eat pizza a couple of times each month. If I ate it everyday, I might have a behavioural habit that would be helpful to create conscious external change. That is – conscious awareness and choice to do something differently.
So, it comes back to your ability to be taught. Taught by yourself, others or your immediate surrounds. If you live in a messy home – can you do something about it? Humanly, the answer is yes. Personally, only you can answer that. If you are unhealthy – can you teach yourself to take better care of yourself? If you are not communicating effectively with your partner, can you be taught to do better?
Maybe the question shouldn’t be can you be taught, but rather can you allow yourself to be taught? Actions speak much louder than words, and knowledge alone doesn’t mean we know how to do something. Recall the New Guinea proverb: knowledge is only a rumour until you get it into your muscle.
If you want something to be different in your life – no matter how big or small – what are you willing to give up, overcome or do to make it happen? Does your desire for the change equal the action you are willing to take? If not – change probably won’t happen. Are you willing to allow yourself to be taught? Are you willing to make internal changes and external changes? Even if in the past you gave into your crying children to keep the peace, are you willing to be taught and teach a lesson if it means more crying and grief in the short term? Are you willing to throw out all of the food in your cupboards to buy healthier food? Are you willing to set aside and dedicate time to keeping yourself happy? Are you willing to throw away your cigarettes and never buy them again? Are you willing to think your worlds and edit them before they fall out of your mouth so you communicate in a nicer and more effective way?
The un-official definition of insanity: doing the same things and expecting different results.
Change doesn’t happen over night, but it does happen. Are you teachable?