Have you ever had one of those days? Hey, maybe its more like one of those weeks or months? You know, where you do the right thing, but it doesn’t turn out? Yeah, I think we all have. They pop up from time to time in our lives.
There is one thing that I know about these moments – they are just moments. And, sometimes the ‘universe’ has bigger plans for us. Although we’d like to know what is always around the next corner, that’s just not always possible. Actually, its never possible. Â
One of my favourite NLP Presuppositions (an assumption) is one that comes from Cybernetics called the Law of Requisite Variety. This assumption within NLP says that the person with the most flexibility in behaviour controls the situation. Now, this doesn’t mean control in a negative sense, rather – if you know what you want and you can be flexible in your approach you are more likely to get what you want.
So, how does being flexible assist when things aren’t going your way? Knowing that there really isn’t such a thing as ultimate ‘control’ in life – and if things aren’t going your way, the best thing you can do is be flexible. You never know what might happen!
When I find myself in these situations, one of the first questions I ask myself are:
- what good things are happening here?
- how can I use what is working? And
- what could some other options be?Â
It is very possible that whatever outcome comes about may not be exactly what you planned – however, what would happen if it were even better??
The possibilities are endless!
Great words of wisdom Heidi. I try and maintain the ideal of only ‘worrying’ about what I can control and letting go of those things outside my control that upset or irritate me. Sometimes its about taking a mental step back and trying to look at the situation from another perspective.
As a wonderful Buddist saying goes: if you can do something about it, don’t worry. If you can’t do something about it, don’t worry.