Do you have a bucket list? Many people do. A list of the things you want to accomplish in your lifetime. How about a general to-do list? Those things that you need to get done? Well, how about a To-Me list? This would be a list of things to do for ME.
Unfortunately, for most people their Bucket List is a dream list; and maybe they’ll get a few of the items on their ticked off. Maybe. People are more likely to do things on their To-Do list… I mean, that’s what it’s there for, right? But do you put stuff like “get a massageâ€, “go to the gymâ€, “make a healthy mealâ€, “meditateâ€. Some people do, most don’t.
I’ve asked a lot of people – when does the stuff you do for you get to the top of the list. And for many people, it doesn’t.
So, what does this mean? Does it mean we don’t care about ourselves? Does it mean we are not important? Does it mean that we put other priorities above our own? And at some level, the answers for these questions are ‘’yesâ€.
A few months ago I was speaking with a woman who wanted to do our January NLP course. She knew that the course would help her in her own life, plus she is very interested in starting a business as a Coach. However, she didn’t do the course because the training was during the school holidays and she had to spend time with the kids. When I enquired about their ages I found out they are 13 and 16. I didn’t ask, but I wonder how much time her kids wanted to spend with her? I know they weren’t going away and I know that she isn’t working. So instead of doing something that she wants to do, and something that even teaches her kids to put their needs first, she stayed at home.
If we want something to change in our lives, we need to do something different. Anything.
I’ve been told by a few people that they believe putting their own needs first is selfish. Interestingly, I don’t see it that way. I see that when I put my needs first (not 100% of the time mind you) then I am better for the people around me. When I get the massage, go to the gym, meditate, do that course – my stress levels are lower, I’m more empowered, I can manage my state better – and ultimately I can serve those around me better.
I use that term ‘serve’ loosely – because I don’t actually think that anyones purpose is to serve others. Rather, to serve themselves.
If you had a To-Me list, what would you put on it?