I wonder, is being happy something that has to take a lot of effort? Does it require time, energy, will power and decisiveness? Or, can it just be a choice?
I think the answer to that is a combination of all of these. Yes, it can be a choice and yes, it might take a bit of effort – effort that is, if your Present State is not already “happyâ€.
I work with a lot of people on the Therapy side of NLP who are not happy and they want to be. But, the happiness they are looking for is mysterious and evasive. Ultimately, it seems that people want to find a magic wand that will instantly make them happy.
Well, if that is what you’re after – here it is.
The key to being happy, from what I can tell… is to live in the present.
When you are in the moment of “now†– right now us usually more than OK. If you dwell on the past or worry about the future, that is not being present.
I’ve been asking people a lot of questions recently about being unhappy, now this might sound strange if I want to know more about happiness, but really, I’m interested in both. I want to know what happy people do and I want to know the recipe of being unhappy.
Ultimately, people who were unhappy report more thoughts about either the past or the future. More specifically, what they would have liked to do differently in the past or worrying that the future won’t turn out how they want it. Even just thinking about those two aspects don’t bring a smile to my face!
It can take quite a bit of effort to be present and in the now – but it is worth it. Being in the now helps us to be present to who we are with, were we are, what we are doing and where we are going. Being present in the now helps us to be a better friend, better listener, better decision maker and a better version of ourselves.
My challenge to you – stay present. For a week set an alarm on your phone to beep at you every 15 minutes during the daytime (from the time you get up to the time you go to bed). Let this alarm be a simple reminder to come back to now and take stock of where you are. Take 2 seconds to just smile. Smile every 15 minutes, just because you can.
If a week seems too long, start off with a day. If a day seems too long, start with an afternoon or morning.
This is a great exercise because it helps to train you to be in the here and now – Â and the here and now can be a happy place all the time!