I’ve tried that before; that didn’t work for me; That was too hard.

I hear these ‘excuses’ time and time again from people all around me. We are in a fast paced world and we want instant results. Just last night I bought a new book for my kindle and it wasn’t there within 15 seconds and I wondered if my purchase went through. After a few more ‘refreshes’ the book was magically in its place approximately 20 seconds after purchasing it.

This got me wondering: am I as impatient with normal life as I am with technology?

Generally speaking, no. I think in general I’m pretty patient – I know that everything comes with its own timing and as long as I’m engaged and active, I’ll get what I’m working toward.

A gentleman called our office the other day to enquire about NLP training. He asked me what my thoughts were about the Law of Attraction. I told him that I full heartedly know that the Law of Attraction works. He was quiet for a moment and then told me that he didn’t believe in it. I asked him what there was to “believe in” – it’s a law. What you put your focus on is what you get.

Now, here’s a bit of Heidi-vice… to me the Law of Attraction isn’t about THINGS its about energy. If I put my focus on a new car – most likely a new car isn’t going to show up in my driveway. But – I may manifest the desire for a new car enough that my energy keeps money in my bank long enough that I can buy the new car. At the very least I may put enough energy out there that I identify the kind of new car that I want.

Here’s what this guy didn’t get – once the energy is right, then it is my turn to take over. It becomes my turn to provide action. And, sometimes that action takes a while.

Lets take weight loss as an example. Most (not all) people can identify with this one. If I want to lose 10 pounds, unless I do something dramatic like cut off a limb its going to take time. Most people however want to see a dramatic result without a dramatic effort. So many people want to see the weight gone (and stay gone) without actually doing anything. I can hold my focus and vision and desire of reducing my weight by 10 pounds for as long as I can – yet without action, nothing is going to happen. And, without perseverance of that action, really nothing is going to happen.

A few weeks ago I met a woman who was on this exact journey. She claimed that every diet, exercise program, etc. didn’t work. When I asked her how long she persevered with any one specific thing, her longest stint was just over 4 weeks. She had been losing some weight, just “not enough”. What she was missing was this: she was losing weight!!! It might have taken her a whole year to put on 5 pounds, and it might take her a couple of months to get rid of it.

The same thing goes for parenting – I met a couple not long ago who wanted some new motivational techniques for their children. A few weeks later the mother called me telling me the techniques weren’t working. I asked how long they had implemented them for “oh, about a week”. It took all of my professional skills to not hang up on her! I figured I needed to use a bit of my own advice and be persistent with her.

Oh, about a week.

What actually gets done in a week? What new habits or behaviours have you ever mastered in a week? Learning to walk took longer than that. So did writing. And tying your shoes. Driving a car, playing an instrument, talking, speaking another language, making your bed. All of these things took longer than one week – probably longer than a month or two.

Depending on what book or website you read, it is said that creating a new habit takes between 10-30 attempts. Personally, I subscribe to 10-13 tries. This means, I need to persevere through 10-13 consistent times of something before it becomes a habit. For some people this might mean 10-13 days of going to the gym in a row before it becomes a habit. For some people it might be 10-13 weeks. This is exactly the reason why if a person goes to the gym for example, inconsistently 2-3 times a week it never becomes a habit. I know I’d be a lot more likely to go to the gym if I consistently made it on Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the next 10-13 weeks. Or, if I just went consistently every day for the next 10-13 days. It helps to get it into my muscle. It helps to get my focus and energy in the right place.

What I cannot do, and get results is to just put my mindset out there. It is a good place to start – but afterall, a goal without action will always remain just a dream.

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