For anyone who knows me, you know that at heart, I’m an introvert. You will also know that I’m very ambitious and resourceful – and I love my Heidi-Time.
Today, I’d like to share a little bit more about me. The purpose of doing so will hopefully get you to look inside of you and find out what is going to help get you out of your comfort zone and onto the track that will get you to your goals this year.
With my love of Heidi-Time, I find it very easy to get caught in the trap of just relaxing and lounging at home, very comfortable with my own company and my own space. Many years ago a relationship ended and I went into seclusion – not purposefully, but I found safe things to do on my own. As a result, I’m now Dr. Heidi, but also as a result I found myself quite lonely at times. Even introverts get lonely!
I did what I could to get out of my house, but would traditionally end up back on my own, with a DVD, a book or the internet for great entertainment. Looking at the ‘wheel of life’ we often use in NLP Land, every area of my life was going well, with one glaring exception – relationships. Now, my relationship with myself is good. And, my relationship with my family is good. But, my friendships with local people, not so good.
A couple of years ago I found out about a website called meetup.com – it was started in New York after 9-11 to create communities of people as support networks. Since then it has grown globally and has tons of different types of communities to get involved in. I joined Meetup.com and went to a few different activities. But, my somewhat un-useful patterns would kick in – the pattern of least resistance for me was to stay in my comfort zone – and that meant staying home. Although I met a few great people, it was easier to stay at home than to go have THAT conversation (where are you from, where do you live, what do you do…).
So, in September of 2011 I decided to start my own Meetup. 4 months on and I have 515 new ‘friends’ – most of whom I have met at some event. We are the fastest growing Meetup group in Australia at the moment and we have fun! I organise and host at least one event each week – sometimes two depending on what is going on. As few as 8 (only once, on the first Meetup) and as many as 76 people have done various things like going to the movies, dinner, lunch, drinks, walks, burlesque, etc. and, we even had a New Years Eve party! This coming weekend I currently have 110 people registered to come to a Sydney Festival event! Amazing!
I’ve been commended and thanked by the people in the group. Yesterday at a drinks/lunch event on Cockatoo Island a new guy commented “I’ve been to a lot of Meetups before, but this is the first one with ‘real’, authentic peopleâ€. I love that! I’ve gotten out of my comfort zone and I’ve done something to create more balance in my life. Sure, I’m confident and can be quite outgoing – but putting myself out there is sometimes a challenge. One thing I know for sure – not only is this experiment of “getting Heidi out of her house†helping me, it is helping so many other people to get out of their house, make friends, get involved in community and get out of their comfort zones.
I can guarantee that for the first few Meetups I hosted I had to use a lot of NLP State Management tools and calm my nerves. But now, I know that I’ll see some of my new friends that I am getting to know and I’ll meet a few new people and have THAT conversation. I also know that there is a lot more balance in my life. There is also a lot more food and alcohol, but that’s OK!
For a while I’ve been trying to find a hobby, but everything I could think of was a very ‘alone’ kind of hobby… now I have a hobby I didn’t intend – socialising.
What can you do that pushes you outside of your comfort zone and onto the track for achieving your goals, making your life even better and letting yourself soar?
Brilliant Heidi – thank you for being so open and sharing. What you have done took courage as did writing about it. I take my hat off to you 🙂
Hi Heidi – I love my Heidi time too and often choose reading a book or working and researching over social time. I also set up a network for others in my profession around 9 years ago and am so grateful for all the amazing friendships and support we have given each other.
Love what you are doing for yourself and others!
Hugs
Heidi
Thanks Des. With my non-training hat on, it did take a bit of courage. I’m so glad that I did it!
🙂 Well done to you too Heidi! What I love about the group that I started is that the intent is pure social. No business at all. Its great to have a group of people who just know me as just me 🙂
hey Heidi
I loved this post for several reasons, thank you for writing it. I really like the way you are open and honest, it is so important for us NLP practitioners to be more transparent, so that people don’t think that just because we do NLP we are perfect beings who never experience any personal blocks. It is so important people know that even coaches are a work in progress.
I also like the notion of getting out of comfort zone and how this can be done in so many ways, depending on what your comfort zone is. I have been doing a lot of outdoor activites as a way of pushing my physical capabilities, and although I have found some things very hard, I have done things I never thought I could or would do. It is has been very affirming and confident building for me.
Nice work!
Charlotte
Hi Charlotte,
Thanks for your note. I agree – we NLPers need to be as transparent as possible. I’m not perfect, I’m human! And, I have these great tools of NLP to help me be a better human! Well done yourself for getting out of your comfort zone! I love when people push themselves past what they thought they could do! Love it!
Heidi
Love the post Heidi! You walk the talk.
Hi Heidi
It’s so refreshing to read of the issues of which you speak, I see it as a very common denominator often with different hats, colours etc.
Thank you Frank