How much time do you spend with yourself, or on yourself or about yourself? Too much? Not enough? Just the right amount? No – this isn’t Goldie Locks and the Three Bears, but we can learn something from that golden girl. She choose what was best for her.
In my coaching practice I often meet people who put very little priority on themselves and their own happiness. Most of their waking time is spent thinking about other people, their needs, wants and desires. They are not coming to see me to get help with that, directly. In fact, most of the time they don’t even realise that they are putting themselves last on the list. What they walk into my office for is usually something like “I’m stuck in my lifeâ€, or “I’m unhappy†or “I want to find my purposeâ€â€¦ something along those lines. Yet, what comes out loud and clear is a need for external validation and an internal emptiness.
I’m curious, when you are feeling low – what do you do to cheer yourself up? When you do something really well – how do you praise yourself? On just an average-everyday-type-of-day what do you do for you?
Here’s something that I do know for sure. If you are able to put your own needs first sometimes, you will be better equipped to help others and give to others. I say sometimes, because there is a fine line between being self aware and selfish. It is absolutely OK to say no. It is perfectly acceptable to change your mind. It is 100% warranted to have your own opinion (and yes, it can be different to other peoples!). It is normal and natural to do great things for yourself.
I like to look at it this way – if you are able to look after yourself first and fill up your own cup of happiness and fulfilment, you’ll have more to give to others.
What will you choose to do for yourself today?
Yes Heidi, this is one of the things that I focus on with my clients. They usually are parents that have been giving so much to the family network and no “me” time.
I have also found this for myself. I have little time outs in my garden and jumping on my motorbike where I can just be selfish and just think about how I can recharge.
This then allows me to be a better calmer Pete around my family.
Thanks for the post 🙂