How often are you truly happy? How often do you think you ‘should’ be happy?

Two interseting questions as I sit here and write… two questions that really open up the possibility for more questions – what is happiness? happy compared to what? Truly happy? Just to name a few of the questions that spring to my mind. 

You may have heard about this client before – she came to see me many years ago. At that time she was in her mid 70’s and when I asked her what I can help her with she told me I want to be unreasonably happy. Intreagued, I asked her what that meant to her – her answer was simple: to be happy for no reason.  I liked that.

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How do you handle stressful conditions? What happens when you are in an argument? How about when things are not going your way? Does you communication style change?

For a lot of people, when they are feeling under pressure their style of communication changes to reflect various patterns in life. For some, this can be useful and for others this can be very damaging. Over the next few weeks I am going to be investigating these different communication styles, strategies for improvement and simply ways to detect your own stress coping style.

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Recently I was asked what I think about kids having jobs. Well, I’m all for it! Jobs around the house and even a job outside of the house. Jobs teach kids responsibility, work ethics, honesty, honour and pride.

Of course, if the job is done by the parent or a parent is overly involved in pushing the kid to get things done, the opposite may happen… the kid might not learn how to be a good worker, they may learn to be a great slacker.

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A few posts ago I shared some Heidvice for parents of young children. I’ve been asked by many parents for some suggestions for older kids and teenagers. Or, for the child that loves writing so much that she was asking her mum what she had to do to get the writing task (thanks for sharing that one Julie!)

According to Morris Massey, when kids are 8-13 they are in the modelling phase of growth and 14-21 the socialisation phase. In both of these development stages kids are learning responsibility and personal boundaries. The following parenting technique is great for kids who have the ability to know right from wrong and think about their consequences – with their parents help of course. We know from brain research that the pre-frontal cortex isn’t fully developed until the age of 19-21 and this part of the brain is responsible for judgement and decisions. Off the cuff a teenager or tween is making a decision based on right here and right now. However, with guidance (and after all, guidance is what a parent gives) they can and will be more conscious in their thinking abilities.

This task is very useful in teaching a few things:

  1. Responsibility
  2. Accountability
  3. Trust – your trust of your child and probably more importantly, their trust in themselves.
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