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Have you ever experienced happiness? True happiness? Bliss? Joy? Freedom? I’m sure you have! Hopefully quite a bit in your life, but even if its just small touches of these things, that is great.

I work with a lot of people in my coaching practice who are trying to get these things (and more) by doing something. For example “I’ll be happy when I get a new house” or “I’ll be free when I work for myself”… Interestingly, when we put conditions on anything our unconscious mind creates a new set of rules that we then live by. Really, if a person says that they’ll be happy when they get a new house – do they really mean that they won’t be happy until then? No, probably not. But, the unconscious mind is extremely intelligent and takes everything literally.

Would you like to know the true key to ultimate happiness and understanding?

I don’t know.

That’s the answer. I don’t know. I don’t know how much more happy you can be tomorrow than today. I don’t know how much more freedom you can find in your life right now. I don’t know how much joy you can get just by reading this blog post. I don’t know.

Famous words from Dr. Milton Erickson. I don’t know.

Listen to what these words do… I don’t know if you can feel happiness now, true happiness. It presupposes something… it provides a very flexible frame that can truly unlock the potential and possibility in anything. There are no rules, boundaries or expectations when you don’t know. Its actually a great answer! (of course, its kind of annoying when your 10 year old says it!)

I don’t know gives you permission to not know – to live in an ambiguious moment, to be free from the need for certainty. This allows your unconscious mind to do a trance derivational search for possibilities – and as you know, your unconscious mind can always provide more options for you than your conscious mind.

So, I don’t know how much you’ve gotten out of this post… and I don’t know how you can come up with more options for yourself next time you are stuck… and I don’t know how often you can become even more comfortable with not knowing, but I do know this:

Not knowing is the key to understanding.